Best Children's Books on Separation and Divorce to Help Kids
Divorce and separation are often difficult topics for families to navigate, especially when children are involved. These life-changing events can be emotionally challenging for young minds to comprehend and process. However, literature has proven to be a valuable tool in helping children understand and cope with the complexities of separation and divorce in families.
In this blog post, we will explore a selection of books specifically tailored to address these sensitive issues from a child's perspective. These books offer stories, characters, and themes that resonate with young readers, providing comfort, understanding, and a sense of reassurance during times of upheaval and transition. Let's delve into the world of children's literature that addresses separation and divorce, and discover the impactful narratives that can help children navigate these challenging experiences with empathy and resilience.
Best Children's Books on Separation and Divorce to Help Kids
As a therapist, I utilize books regarding specific topics with families a lot. Using books as a therapist related to topics like separation and divorce can provide words and conversation starters for children of all ages the ability to communicate about something that is tough or emotional for them. Elaborating on prompts from a book gives a child the ability to feel validated by a character sharing a feeling that they relate to.
If you are looking for books to use at home or in your professional practice, these books are great to build your library for books about separation or divorce.
What’s The Best Way to Tell Kids About Divorce?
There is no right or wrong way to tell your child(ren) about the decision to separate or divorce. You know your family best and use your gut to guide what will work best for your family during this separation and divorce. Here are a few guidelines or tips to keep in mind when talking to children about the decision to separate and/or divorce.
Have a discussion with your partner about how you want to tell your child and when. If possible and safe, have this discussion about separation and divorce with your child together.
Make every attempt possible not to blame the other parent. Even though you may be hurt and upset, this person is still your child’s parent and blaming the other parent often leads children to feel like they have to choose between them.
Let your child ask questions. You want your child to get information to process this from you vs other people involved or to make their own assumptions because of a lack of knowledge or information. Depending on your child’s age the way you share and the extent of what you say will vary, but using a line
When is the Best Time to Talk to Children about Divorce or Separation?
When it comes to discussing separation and divorce with your children, it's crucial to approach the conversation with sensitivity, honesty, and empathy. Here are some pointers to guide you through this difficult conversation:
Choose the Right Time and Place: Find a quiet, comfortable space where you won't be interrupted or distracted. Choose a time when everyone is calm and relaxed, and there's enough time for an open and unhurried conversation.
Be Honest and Age-Appropriate: Tailor your explanation to your child's age and level of understanding. Be honest about the situation without overwhelming them with unnecessary details. Use simple language and concepts that younger children can grasp.
Assure Them It's Not Their Fault: Reassure your children that the separation or divorce is not their fault. Explain that grown-ups sometimes have problems that they can't fix, but it has nothing to do with how much they are loved.
Encourage Questions and Emotions: Let your children know that it's okay to feel sad, angry, confused, or any other emotions they may be experiencing. Encourage them to ask questions and express their feelings openly without judgment.
Listen Actively: Be a patient and attentive listener. Give your children the opportunity to express themselves fully, and validate their emotions. Avoid interrupting or dismissing their concerns.
Provide Reassurance and Stability: Emphasize that even though things may be changing, certain aspects of their lives will remain consistent and stable. Reassure them of your love and commitment to their well-being.
Maintain a United Front: If possible, present a unified and cooperative front with your co-parent. Let your children know that you are both there for them and will continue to support them, even though your relationship with each other is changing.
Offer Practical Support: Address any concerns your children may have about practical matters, such as living arrangements, school, or routines. Provide clear and age-appropriate information about what to expect in the days and weeks ahead.
Seek Professional Help if Needed: If you or your children are struggling to cope with the emotional impact of separation or divorce, consider seeking support from a therapist, counselor, or support group specializing in family dynamics and children's emotional well-being. Parents' separation impacts various family members in different ways, and having a professional that is trained in handling the difficult emotions is a great resource.
Follow Up: Check in with your children regularly to see how they're coping and if they have any additional questions or concerns. Let them know that you're always available to talk and support them through this challenging time.
Remember, every child reacts differently to news of separation or divorce, so it's essential to be patient, understanding, and supportive as they navigate their emotions and adjust to the changes in their family dynamic.
25 Kid Books to Talk About Separation and Divorce in Families
This list of books is a great starting point to help children process this difficult time of change in their family separation.
Books about Separation and Divorced Geared Towards Preschool - 2nd grade
LIVING WITH MOM AND LIVING WITH DAD by Melanie Walsh
For young children who live in two homes, this bright, simple story with oversized flaps reassures young readers that there is love in each one. This picture book is great for smaller children, written for ages 2-5, experiencing separation and change.
EMILY’s BLUE PERIOD by Cathleen Daly
Emily wants to be an artist. She likes painting and loves the way artists like Pablo Picasso mixed things up. Emily's life is a little mixed up right now. Her dad doesn't live at home anymore, and it feels like everything around her is changing."When Picasso was sad for a while," says Emily, "he only painted in blue. And now I am in my blue period."
TWO HOMES by Claire Masurel
Parents or professionals looking for an optimistic or positive spin on the difficult dynamic of parents separating and divorcing will like this children’s book option. The author in Two Homes focuses on what the character, Alex, gains from having two homes vs what he lost. The character, Alex, is reminded that even though the two homes he has may be different, that he is very loved at both places.
MUM AND DAD GLUE by Kes Gray
A little boy tries to find a pot of parent glue to stick his mum and dad back together. His parents have come undone, and he wants to mend their marriage, stick their smiles back on and make them better. This story is brilliantly told with a powerful message that even though his parents may be broken, their love for him is not.
A TALE OF TWO SEDERS by Mindy Avra Portnoy
When her parents get divorced, a little girl is worried about many things, including how she will celebrate the Jewish holidays in two different households. The holiday of Passover gives her a chance to celebrate separately with each parent. Over the course of three years and six seders, she and her family work to adjust to this new world, creating happy new lives and new family traditions.
WHY DO FAMILIES CHANGE: OUR FIRST TALK ABOUT SEPARATION AND DIVORCE by Jullian Roberts
Separation and divorce are difficult on the entire family and this book is geared towards 3-5 year olds and their families. Often young children blame themselves or are unsure of their place in the family if these events occur. Child psychologist Dr. Jillian Roberts designed the Just Enough series to empower parents/caregivers to start conversations with young ones about difficult or challenging subject matter.
DINOSAURS DIVORCE by Marc Brown
This book is perfect for families and professionals as it serves as a guide to understanding divorce and separation in kid friendly terms. The Dinosaurs Divorce book comes with commonly used words and terms that children will hear during separation and divorce. The book highlights why parents divorce and reminds children that it is not their fault. This book highlights common emotions for children to feel during the separation and normalizes these for readers. This Dinosaurs Divorce book has information about visiting parents, having two homes, celebrating holidays and special occasions, and blended families.
MY FAMILY’S CHANGING: A FIRST LOOK AT FAMILY BREAK UP by Pat Thomas
This book was written by a psychotherapist and while its been around since 1999, its one I’ve used many times in my practice. The book encourages children and parents to ask questions and confront social and emotional questions surrounding the separation or divorce of parents. Books feature appealing full-color illustrations on every page plus a page of advice to parents and teachers.
TWO ADVENTURES WITH MOM AND DAD: A GUIDE TO EXPLAIN DIVORCE TO YOUNG CHILDREN by Kelly Change Rickert
This story about parents separating and divorcing aims to reinforce the message that a parent’s love for their child remains consistent even when the relationship with the other parent has changed. While this may not be the case for every family, reading this book together can help remind parents of ways to manage their separation constructively in order to mitigate its effects on their children. Two Adventures With Mom and Dad Explaining Divorce to Young Children is written by family law attorney as a way to help parents have the dialogue about the process and feelings with children.
THE INVISIBLE STRING by Patrice Karst
The Invisible String offers a very simple approach to overcoming loneliness, separation, or loss with an imaginative twist that children easily understand and embrace and delivers a particularly compelling message in today's uncertain times. While the book doesn’t outwardly name separation and divorce the general feeling of the book can be applied to that while reading for a child experiencing the loss and separation that comes with the change of a family unit.
STANDING ON MY OWN TWO FEET: A CHILD’S AFFIRMATION OF LOVE IN THE MIDST OF DIVORCE by Tamara Schmitz
Addison is a regular kid whose parents are going through a divorce, but he knows that no matter what happens, his parents will always love him. The text in this beautifully illustrated picture book is inspiring, gentle, and uplifting, and teaches kids that having two homes to live in can be just as great as having two strong feet to stand on.
IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT KOKO BEAR: A READ TOGETHER BOOK FOR PARENTS AND YOUNG CHILDREN DURING DIVORCE by Vicky Lansky
This easy-to-understand children's story and parenting guide is intended for families where both parents plan to stay active and involved in their child's life. "It's Not Your Fault, KoKo Bear" revolves around a lovable bear who doesn't want to have two homes. KoKo's experience will help children learn what divorce means, how family life will change, and understand that the divorce is not their fault.
I HAVE TWO HOMES by Colleen LaMaire
This bestselling children’s book about divorce is geared towards ages 5-10.
We WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU: A CHILDREN’s STORY EXPLAINING DIVORCE AND SEPARATION by Ethan Arabov
This book makes for a great emotional support tool to help young children cope with parental separation and divorce by teaching them that their feelings are valid and that both parents will be there for them regardless.
ALWAYS MOM FOREVER DAD by Joanna Rowland
In this reassuring picture book, young readers see children who have two households―whether because of divorce, separation, or other circumstances―experiencing life’s ups and downs with both parents ― secure in the knowledge that Mom will always be Mom, and Dad is forever Dad.
LOU CARIBOU : WEEEKDAYS WITH MOM, WEEKENDS WITH DAD by Marie-Sabine Roger and Nathalie Choux
This book shows that parents who live apart still lovingly care for their child, and that their separation has not diminished their love for him. Adoring gestures all throughout the book prove that the young reindeer is loved by both of his parents in equal measure. Through Lou's story, small children can better comprehend and relate to the separation of their own moms and dads.
Books about Separation and Divorced Geared Towards 8-12 year olds
WHAT CAN I DO? A BOOK FOR CHILDREN OF DIVORCE by Danielle Lowry
When Rosie's parents tell her they are divorcing, she wonders what she can do to keep them together. She tries being her cheeriest self, giving them the money in her piggy bank, keeping the house clean, and getting good grades, but none of her plans work. By the time her parents separate, Rosie is sad, frustrated, angry, disappointed and confused. One day she blows up at her best friend in school. As a result, she visits the school counsellor, and joins a group of children with divorced parents who meet and share their feelings, experiences, and helpful ideas.
I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT by Jeanie Ranson
After reluctantly talking with her parents about their upcoming divorce, a young girl discovers that there will be some big changes but that their love for her will remain the same. Includes an afterword for parents on helping children through such a change. After reluctantly talking with her parents about their upcoming divorce, a young girl discovers that there will be some big changes but that their love for her will remain the same.
DIVORCE IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD: ZOE AND EVANS COPING GUIDE FOR KIDS by Zoe and Evan Stern
Zoe and Evan Stern know firsthand how it feels when your parents’ divorce. When their parents split they knew their lives would change but they didn't know how. A few years later, when they were 15 and 13 years old, they decided to share their experience in this positive and practical guide for kids. With some help from their mom, Zoe and Evan write about topics like guilt, anger, fear, adjusting to different rules in different houses, dealing with special occasions like birthdays, adapting to stepparents and blended families, and much more.
TWO HOMES FILLED WITH LOVE: A STORY ABOUT DIVORCE AND SEPARATION by Steve Herman
Children’s Book to help Kids understand and get through Parental Divorce or Separation. Join Drew and his dragon Diggory Doo on this uplifting story to help a friend during the most difficult change in his life when his parents live apart and he’s now living in two homes. Parents and educators will find this book the perfect tool to help children cope with parental separation, breakup or divorce, and to teach them that whether living in one home or two, they’re always loved and supported.
WHEN MOM AND DAD SEPARATE: CHILDREN CAN LEARN TO COPE WITH GRIEF FROM DIVORCE by Marge Heegaard
Discusses basic concepts of marriage and divorce. Offers children a creative way to sort out the stressful feelings of grief caused by change.
A BRAND NEW DAY: A BANANA SPLIT STORY by A.S. Chung
One of the many challenges a child has to deal with during divorce is the loss of a single permanent home. . A Brand New Day attempts to highlight the positives through loving words and beautiful illustrations.
WHEN MY PARENTS FORGOT HOW TO BE FRIENDS (LETS TALK ABOUT IT!) by Jennifer Moore-Mallinos
Young children become confused and hurt when their parents constantly argue, then decide to divorce. This sensitively written book assures boys and girls that children are in no way responsible for their parents' inability to get along together. It lets kids know that although one parent chooses to move away from the home, both parents continue to love their little boy or girl. Both Mom and Dad will continue to spend happy times with them.
WHAT IN THE WORLD DO YOU DO WHEN YOUR PARENTS DIVORC? A SURVIVAL GUIDE FOR KIDS by Kent Winchester
This companion to Speaking of Divorce is for kids ages 7–12. In a simple question-and-answer format, the book gently explains what divorce is, why parents decide to divorce, new living arrangements, how to handle feelings, and other basics to help children understand what's happening in their lives. With honesty and simplicity, the authors help children realize that divorce isn't their fault, strong emotions are okay, and families can survive difficult changes. Written to and for kids, this book is also recommended for parents, educators, counselors, and youth workers.
MUM, DAD CAN YOU HEAR ME? by Despina Mavridou
An extraordinary, brilliant book to be read by every divorcing parent and young children facing divorce.
An emotional and inspiring story about the divorce through the eyes of a child. Irene, is a 10-year-old girl whose parents are getting a divorce. In the midst of her confusion and helplessness, Irene turns to her diary to express her feelings and better process her parents’ divorce. With the help of her grandmother and her teddy bear she finds a way to make her parents listen to her.
In conclusion, books about separation and divorce play a crucial role in helping children navigate the emotional journey of family upheaval. By providing relatable stories, engaging characters, and valuable insights, these books offer children a sense of comfort, understanding, and empowerment during difficult times. Whether it's finding solace in the shared experiences of fictional characters or gaining valuable coping strategies, the literature discussed in this blog post serves as a beacon of hope and reassurance for children facing the challenges of separation and divorce in their families.
As parents, educators, and caregivers, it's essential to recognize the importance of open communication and emotional support when helping children navigate these complex emotions. By incorporating these books into their lives, adults can facilitate meaningful conversations, foster empathy, and instill resilience in children as they embark on their journey toward healing and acceptance. Let us embrace the transformative power of literature and continue to provide children with the tools they need to thrive amidst life's inevitable changes.
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