30 Young Adult books about Divorce and Separation
Divorce and separation can be challenging experiences for families, particularly for young adults who are still trying to navigate the complexities of their emotions and relationships. Books can serve as a valuable resource for understanding, empathy, and guidance during such times. In this blog post, we’ll explore a selection of young adult (YA) books that delve into the themes of divorce and separation, offering insight, comfort, and hope to readers facing similar situations.
30 YYoung Adult books about Divorce and Separation
Reading young adult (YA) books that explore characters coping with divorce and separation in their families can offer numerous benefits to readers, especially young adults who may be going through parental conflict and similar experiences themselves. Here are several reasons why engaging with such literature can be helpful for young readers:
Validation of Feelings: Going through a divorce or separation can evoke a wide range of emotions, including sadness, anger, confusion, and guilt. Seeing characters in YA books experiencing similar emotions can validate a reader's own feelings, letting them know that they are not alone in the various emotions they're going through.
Understanding and Empathy: YA books provide a window into the experiences of others, fostering empathy and understanding. By reading about characters navigating divorce and separation and different homes, readers can gain insight into different perspectives and circumstances, which can help broaden their understanding of the complexities involved in family dynamics.
Coping Strategies: Many YA books featuring characters dealing with divorce or separation also explore how they cope with these challenges. Whether it's seeking support from friends, engaging in creative outlets like writing or art, or finding solace in therapy, these stories can offer readers a repertoire of coping strategies to consider while dealing with tough subject in their own lives.
Role Models and Resilience: Seeing characters in YA books navigate difficult situations with strength and resilience can serve as powerful role models for readers. Witnessing characters overcome adversity and grow from their experiences can inspire readers to believe in their own ability to persevere and thrive in the face of adversity.
Sense of Connection: Reading about characters who are going through similar struggles can create a sense of connection and solidarity for readers. Knowing that others have faced similar challenges and have emerged stronger on the other side can provide comfort and reassurance during difficult times.
Escape and Distraction: While reading about heavy topics like divorce and separation can be emotionally taxing, YA books also offer a form of escapism and distraction. Engaging with compelling stories and characters can provide a temporary respite from real-life stressors and allow readers to immerse themselves in a different world for a while.
In summary, reading YA books that explore divorce and separation in families can help readers by validating their feelings, fostering understanding and empathy, providing coping strategies, offering role models of resilience, creating a sense of connection, and providing escape and distraction when needed. Ultimately, these books can empower readers to navigate their own challenges with greater strength, resilience, and hope.
What’s The Best Way to Tell Kids About Divorce?
There is no right or wrong way to tell your child(ren) about the decision to separate or divorce. You know your family best and use your gut to guide what will work best for your family during this separation and divorce. Here are a few guidelines or tips to keep in mind when talking to children about the decision to separate and/or divorce.
Have a discussion with your partner about how you want to tell your young adult and when. If possible and safe, have this discussion about separation and divorce with your child together.
Make every attempt possible not to blame the other parent. Even though you may be hurt and upset, this person is still your child’s parent and blaming the other parent often leads children to feel like they have to choose between them.
Let your preteen and teen ask questions. You want your teen to get information to process this from you vs other people involved or to make their own assumptions because of a lack of knowledge or information. Depending on your child’s age the way you share and the extent of what you say will vary, but using a line
When is the Best Time to Talk to Children about Divorce or Separation?
A neutral place is important to have this discussion. A safe place is key. Have the discussion as a family. Know that talking to your child(ren) about the decision to separate isn’t a one-time discussion. You will want to check in with your child(ren) regularly as they think of new questions or want to open up.
Seek Professional Support
While venting and processing with friends and family can be a great support system, try to be mindful that the decision to separate or divorce is hard on the extended family as well. Pulling others into the emotions and decision can create tricky dynamics to navigate and often gets complicated and confrontational.
Seeking out professional support through therapy is a great resource so that everyone has a confidential professional to talk through their own emotions.
As a therapist, I utilize books regarding specific topics with families a lot. Using books as a therapist related to topics like separation and divorce can provide words and conversation starters for teenagers and preteens of all ages the ability to communicate about something that is tough or emotional for them. Elaborating on prompts from a book gives a child the ability to feel validated by a character sharing a feeling that they relate to.
If you are looking for books to use at home or in your professional practice, these books are great to build your library for books highlighting separation or divorce. Asking your teen questions like How did that make you feel? when reading a certain chapter or situation is a great conversation opener.
30 must read YA books Dealing with Divorce and Separation
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THE GREAT TREEHOUSE WAR by Lisa Graff
National Book Award finalist Lisa Graff never disappoints, and The Great Treehouse War is another hit! Main character Winnie is finishing fourth grade and on what she thought would be an awesome day becomes the day her parents got divorced. Winnie is told that she's living 3 days a week with each parent and the other day in a treehouse between their houses. Winnie does this for 2 years and then decides she's taking matters into her own hands and barricades herself in the treehouse with friends. An epic war ensues with children vs grownups.
BIGGER THAN A BREADBOX by Laurel Snyder
A magical breadbox that delivers whatever you wish for—as long as it fits inside? It's too good to be true! Twelve-year-old Rebecca is struggling with her parents' separation, as well as a sudden move to her gran's house in another state. For a while, the magic bread box, discovered in the attic, makes life away from home a little easier. Then suddenly it starts to make things much, much more difficult, and Rebecca is forced to decide not just where, but who she really wants to be. Older children and adults will enjoy this book that deals with different houses and other main topics associated with changes.
DRUM ROLL PLEASE by Lisa Jenn Bigelow
Main character and young girl Melly joined the school band because her best friend, Olivia, begged her to. But to her surprise, quiet Melly loves playing the drums. It’s the only time she doesn’t feel like a mouse. Now she and Olivia are about to spend the next two weeks at Camp Rockaway.
But this summer brings a lot of big changes for Melly: her parents split up, her best friend ditches her, and Melly finds herself unexpectedly falling for another girl at camp. To top it all off, Melly’s not sure she has what it takes to be a real rock n’ roll drummer. Will she be able to make music from all the noise in her heart?
THINGS THAT SURPRISE YOU by Jennifer Maschari
A beautifully layered story about navigating the often shifting bonds of family and friendship, and learning how to put the pieces back together when things fall apart.
Emily Murphy is about to enter middle school. She's sort of excited…though not nearly as much as her best friend Hazel, who is ready for everything to be new. Emily wishes she and Hazel could just continue on as they always have, being the biggest fans ever of the Unicorn Chronicles, making up dance moves, and getting their regular order at The Slice.
But things are changing. At home, Emily and her mom are learning to move on after her parents' divorce. This book highlights some of the unique challenges a parental divorce brings and is a great book for young children and YA to read.
RED LEAVES by Sita Brahmachari
Aisha is a thirteen-year-old refugee living in London. Happy for the first time since leaving her war-torn home, she is devastated when her foster care mother announces that a new family has been found for her and she will be moving on. Feeling rejected and abandoned, Aisha packs her bags and runs away, seeking shelter in the nearby woods. Meanwhile, a few doors down, twelve-year-old Zak is trying to cope with his parents' divorce. Living in a near-building site while the new house is being refurbished, he feels unsettled and alone. As helicopters hover overhead and newspapers fill with pictures of the two lost children, unexpected bonds are formed and lives changed forever.
AN INFINITE NUMBER OF PARALLEL UNIVERSES by Randy Ribay
As their senior year approaches, four diverse friends united by their weekly Dungeons & Dragons game struggle to figure out real life. Archie tries to cope with the lingering effects of his parents' divorce, Mari considers an opportunity to contact her biological mother, Dante works up the courage to come out to his friends, and Sam clings to a failing relationship. When the four eventually embark on a cross-country road trip in an attempt to solve one of their problems--and to avoid the others--the journey tests their friendship and they quickly realize that real life is no game.
PUSHING PAUSE by Celeste O. Norfleet
Fifteen-year-old Kenisha Lewis has it all: good friends who also live to dance, a hot boyfriend headed for the NBA, loving parents and a bling-filled home in the burbs.
But all that changes when her dad drops a bomb: he wants a divorce—and his pregnant girlfriend is moving in. Suddenly, Kenisha and her mom are squeezed into her grandmother's small house in the city, and Kenisha's sharing a bedroom with a cousin she barely knows.
SUFFER LOVE by Ashley Herring Blake
Sam Bennett falls for Hadley St. Clair before he knows her last name. When Sam finds out she is that St. Clair, daughter of the man who destroyed Sam’s family, he has a choice: follow his heart or tell the truth about the scandal that links their families.
THE IMPOSSIBLE LIGHT by Lily Myers
Fifteen-year-old Ivy's world is in flux. Her dad has moved out, her mother is withdrawn, her brother is off at college, and her best friend, Anna, has grown distant. Worst of all, Ivy's body won’t stop expanding. She's getting taller and curvier, with no end in sight. But when her disordered eating leads to missed opportunities and a devastating health scare, Ivy realizes that she must weigh her mother's issues against her own and discover what it means to be a part of—and apart from—her family.
WHAT HAPPENED TO GOODBYE by Sarah Dessen
In the past few years, Mclean has pretended to be so many different people that she hardly remembers who she really is anymore. The adorable guy next door might be able to help her figure it out. But is she ready for it? the characters are developed and real, and the plot is believable. Mclean’s journey through the healing process after her parents’ divorce provides bibliotherapy for any teen dealing with family issues, and the secondary plot of tentative steps toward trust and friendship is beautiful. This is a must-have for any young adult collection.
STEALING PARKER by Miranda Keeneally
Parker Shelton pretty much has the perfect life. She's on her way to becoming valedictorian at Hundred Oaks High, she's made the all-star softball team, and she has plenty of friends. Then her mother's scandal rocks their small town and suddenly no one will talk to her. Now Parker wants a new life. But does she go too far?
NOBODY’S THERE by Joan Lowery Nixon
Furious at her father for breaking up their family, Abbie Thompson acted without thinking and got arrested for malicious mischief. Now the judge has assigned her to volunteer in a program that matches teens with the elderly. But Abbie doesn’t get just any elderly person. She gets Edna Merkel, a cranky, difficult woman who’s a member of the town’s crime prevention group.
SOMETHING LIKE NORMAL by Trish Doller
When Travis returns home from Afghanistan, his parents are splitting up, his brother's stolen his girlfriend and car, and the nightmares of his best friend getting killed keep him completely spooked. But when he runs into Harper, a girl who despises him for rumors Travis started back in middle school, life actually starts looking up. And as he and Harper see more of each other, he falls deeper in love with her and begins to find his way through the family meltdown, the post-traumatic stress and the possibility of a interesting future.
STILL LIFE WITH TORNADO by A.S. King
After decades of staying together "for the kids" and building a family on a foundation of lies and domestic violence, Sarah's parents have reached the end. Now Sarah must come to grips with years spent sleepwalking in the ruins of their toxic marriage. As Sarah herself often observes, nothing about her pain is remotely original—and yet it still hurts.
ONE PARIS SUMMER by Denise Swank
Sophie Brooks agrees to spend the summer with her father and his soon-to-be new wife, as well as share a room with her stepmom's daughter, Camille. But what should be a lovely time in the City of Lights, preparing for her audition at the prestigious French music academy she's dreamed of attending, becomes a nightmare due to the lack of a piano and less than sisterly relations … until the attractive boy next door invites Sophie to practice at his home.
CURSED by Karol Silverstein
As if her parents' divorce and sister's departure for college weren't bad enough, fourteen-year-old Ricky Bloom has just been diagnosed with a life-changing chronic illness. Her days consist of cursing everyone out, skipping school--which has become a nightmare--daydreaming about her crush, Julio, and trying to keep her parents from realizing just how bad things are. But she can't keep her ruse up forever.
ARDEN GREY by Ray Stoeve
An insightful, raw YA novel about a young photographer navigating toxic relationships and how they influence her identity. Sixteen-year-old Arden Grey is struggling. Her mother has left their family, her father and her younger brother won't talk about it, and a classmate, Tanner, keeps harassing her about her sexuality—which isn't even public.
HARD LOVE by Ellen Wittlinger
Since his parents' divorce, John's mother hasn't touched him, her new fiancé wants them to move away, and his father would rather be anywhere than at Friday night dinner with his son. With keen insight into teenage life, Ellen Wittlinger delivers a story of adolescence that is fierce and funny — and ultimately transforming — even as it explores the pain of growing up.
ME BEING ME IS AS INSANE AS YOU BEING YOU by Todd Hasak-Lowy
Darren hasn’t had an easy year. There was his parents’ divorce, which just so happened to come at the same time his older brother Nate left for college and his longtime best friend moved away. And of course there’s the whole not having a girlfriend thing. All he knows for sure is that in addition to trying to figure out why none of his family members are who they used to be, he’s now obsessed with a strangely amazing girl who showed up out of nowhere but then totally disappeared.
Told entirely in lists, Todd Hasak-Lowy’s debut YA novel perfectly captures why having anything to do with anyone, including yourself, is:
1. painful
2. unavoidable
3. ridiculously complicated
4. possibly, hopefully the right thing after all.
THE DIVORCE EXPRESS by Paula Danzinger
No one wants to ride the Divorce Express. Especially Phoebe. It means leaving her New York City apartment and friends, moving to the country with her dad, and taking the bus every weekend to visit her mom in the city. It means she has to go to ninth grade in a new school and see her father go on dates. It’s a hectic life with no time to feel she really belongs with the kids in either place.
THE SECRET LIFE OF PRINCE CHARMING by Deb Caletti
Quinn is surrounded by women who have had their hearts broken. Quinn starts to think maybe there really are no good men. Quinn is working on a renewed relationship with her formerly absent father. He’s a little bit of a lot of things: charming, selfish, eccentric, lazy... But he’s her dad, and Quinn’s just happy to have him around again. Until she realizes how horribly he’s treated the many women in his life. Quinn joins forces with the half-sister she’s never met and the little sister she’ll do anything to protect. Together, they set out to right her father’s wrongs...and in doing so, begin to uncover what they’re really looking for: the truth.
THE LAST EXIT TO NORMAL by Michael Harmon
17-year-old Ben’s father announces he’s gay and the family splits apart, Ben does everything he can to tick him off: skip school, smoke pot, skateboard nonstop, get arrested. But he never thinks he’ll end up yanked out of his city life and plunked down into a small Montana town with his dad and Edward, The Boyfriend.
LOVE AND OTHER FOUR LETTER WORDS by Carolyn Mackler
With her parents splitting up, 16-year-old Sammie Davis may not want to feel a thing, but feelings happen. For starters, she’s plenty angry. Her dad’s leaving their upstate New York home and moving clear across the country. Her mother—well, she’s packing up and relocating to New York City with Sammie, who has no say about any of it. Overnight Sammie is forced to deal with change.
THE DAY MY MOTHER LEFT by James Prosek
Jeremy's whole life changed the day his mother left. When his mother leaves with the father of his worst enemy at school, nine-year-old Jeremy seeks to make sense of her abandonment. He throws himself into recreating the Book of Birds, a collection of drawings that his mother took with her on the day she left. While his father fights his own depression and his sister distances herself from their lives, Jeremy turns wholeheartedly to nature, and finds solace in the quiet comfort of drawing.
BETTER THAN PERFECT by Melissa Kantor
Juliet Newman has it all. A picture-perfect family; a handsome, loving boyfriend; and a foolproof life plan: ace her SATs, get accepted into Harvard early decision, and live happily ever after.
But when her dad moves out and her mom loses it, Juliet begins questioning the rules she's always lived by. And to make everything even more complicated there's Declan, the gorgeous boy who makes her feel alive and spontaneous—and who's totally off-limits. Torn between the life she always thought she wanted and one she never knew was possible, Juliet begins to wonder: What if perfect isn't all it's cracked up to be?
DEAR GEORGE CLOONEY: PLEASE MARRY MY MOM by Susan Nielsen
Violet's TV-director dad has traded a job in Vancouver for one in Los Angeles, their run-down house for a sleek ranch-style home complete with a pool, and, worst of all, Violet's mother for a trophy wife, a blonde actress named Jennica. Violet's younger sister reacts by bed-wetting, and her mother ping-pongs from one loser to another, searching for love. As for Violet, she gets angry in ways that are by turns infuriating, shocking, and hilarious.
When her mother takes up with the unfortunately named Dudley Wiener, Violet and her friend Phoebe decide that they need to take control. If Violet's mom can't pick a decent man herself, they will help her snag George Clooney.
SPLIT by Lori Weber
After her mother suddenly leaves her family for good, Sandra is left behind with her alcoholic father -- and a lot of anger. At first, Sandra is more concerned with getting a job and getting on with her life, but then the people around her start pushing Sandra to at least try to find her missing mother. What will Sandra say to her mother if they are reunited? And how do you find a person who may not want to be found?
THE QUEEN OF EVERYTHING by Deb Caletti
High school junior Jordan MacKenzie’s life was pretty typical: fractured family, new boyfriend, dead-end job. She’d been living with her father, the predictable optometrist, since her mother, the hippie holdover, had become too embarrassing to be around. Jordan felt that she finally had as normal a life as she could. Then came Gayle D’Angelo.
Jordan knew her father was dating Gayle and that Gayle was married. Jordan knew it was wrong and that her father was becoming someone she didn’t recognize anymore, but what could she do about it?
A FRIEND AT MIDNIGHT by Caroline Clooney
Lily has settled into life in Connecticut after her parent's divorce, but it's been harder on her eight-year-old brother Michael. After their mother remarries, her brother chooses to go live with his father in Washington, D.C., until the day he calls home from the Baltimore-Washington Airport where his father has abandoned him.
Lily is home babysitting her baby stepbrother when she answers the phone. She has no idea the extent to which her faith in God will be tested. There is no choice for Lily. She will rescue Michael, but will she be able to rescue herself from the bitterness and anger she feels?
SUMMER OF YESTERDAY by Gabby Triana
Having a seizure in the most magical place on earth is the wildest ride of all for Haley, whose dad is forcing her to spend the summer with his new wife and twins at Disney’s Fort Wilderness. Due to the seizure, she had a few months ago, fun is off the menu. While exploring an off-limits area, a second seizure knocks her right smack into Disney World circa 1982! Triana’s novel is less of a story about difficult family situations and more of a love letter to long summer nights spent with new friends, the promise of true love, and the magic of a Disney connection.
Talking to your teen or young adult about divorce and separation isn’t fun or easy but addressing feelings and having an open dialogue with them on a regular basis shows them that it’s okay to be open and share feelings in a safe way. It models for children that it’s okay to have a range of emotions about it and its okay to express them. Especially for younger children it gives them the vocabulary and ability to use words and storylines from books to create a platform to talk through things through the lenses of characters in a book and how that translates to their own family.
YA literature has the power to illuminate the diverse experiences of young people navigating through the complexities of divorce and separation in their families. By offering nuanced portrayals of these challenges, these books provide readers with empathy, understanding, and a sense of solidarity. Whether grappling with grief, identity, trauma, or legal proceedings, these stories offer hope and reassurance that even in the midst of upheaval, healing and resilience are possible.
